How To Work From Home With Kids Without Losing Your Mind

If you have kids 5 and under, you’re probably well aware that keeping them occupied is the key to getting anything done.

“One way to keep little kids out of your hair while you’re in a big meeting is to set up what I call a little nest next to your desk,” Meghan Leahy, a parent coach and author of Parenting Outside the Lines, tells Woman’s Day. “Fill it with everything your kid loves, like toys, snacks, books, stuffed animals, and even an iPad. Kids want to be physically near you, and if you try pushing them out the door it can really activate their neediness and make them want to be even closer to you.”

Taking time on a Sunday night to have a family meeting and create a rough schedule for the week can help make your days feel more organized and less chaotic. “Creating a flexible template for your week can help you be clear about when you’re going to work, and when you’re going to spend time with your kids,” Reiff-Hekking says. “But the emphasis here is on the word ‘flexible.’ If you have a 2-year-old who has a temper tantrum and you need to step away from work for a few minutes, it isn’t the end of the world. Plan your days so that there’s space to handle these things as they come up.”

Whether it’s early in the morning before the kids wake up, during that coveted nap time, or late at night after the kids are asleep, have an hour or two each day when you know you’ll be able to turn all of your attention and energy towards work.

“Be clear on when you know you’ll have a pocket of time to do the important work that takes the most focus,” Reiff-Hekking says. “That way, if you’re having a bad day, you can tell yourself ‘oh, it isn’t the end of the world. I know I can get this project done tomorrow.’”

Sure, we all wish sheltering-in-place with our families meant holding hands and singing kumbaya, but that isn’t reality. Making space for those inevitable, less-than-ideal emotions — like sadness over how life has changed, frustration over the added responsibilities on your plate, and even anger for our current predicament — can actually be a good thing.

Not only have studies shown that accepting “negative” emotions can reduce depression and anxiety symptoms, it can be a way to help you blow off steam.

“Let your kids, and yourself, express feelings like ‘work today was really rough’ or ‘I miss my friends.’ Unloading emotion like that is really healthy,"Leahy says. "The worst thing we can do is constantly ask the people around us to stay positive. It’s so annoying, but we do it to our kids all the time.”

It isn’t easy to feel upbeat when you’re stressed out at home and dealing with the ramifications of a global pandemic. But research shows that being happy can help you be more productive.

“Emphasizing the positives is as easy as taking a few minutes daily, or even weekly, to reflect on what’s going well,” Dr. Kim Perkins, PhD, a positive organizational psychologist, tells Woman’s Day. “We’re so attuned to noticing negative behavior and threats that we need to actively look for what’s going well to get a balanced view of the world around us.”

Establishing a physical separation between when you’re “at the office” and when you’re with your family can help you avoid any unnecessary distraction.

“Set up a designated work area for yourself, even if it’s just a corner in your apartment,” Perkins says. “Be fairly vigilant about the fact that when you’re there, you’re working. If you want to watch a YouTube video, go somewhere else. It’s important to have a boundary between work and home.”

It’s way too easy to neglect your own health when you’re spending your days putting out tiny human-made fires left and right. But making yourself a priority should be non-negotiable. “Don’t forget to eat, sleep, and take care of yourself,” Leahy says. “In these circumstances, self-care is the difference between an anxiety spiral and good health. Your ability to deal with your work and your kids depends on it.”

Now is not the time to expect yourself to be employee of the month or super-mom (hint: “super-mom does not exist). “Make sure you’re giving yourself a little downtime here and there, and allowing yourself not to be perfect,” Reiff-Hekking says. “Instead, focus on the good enough, and allow that to be your goal for the time being.”

Simultaneously working and parenting will never be a piece of cake, especially in the midst of a public health crisis that has negatively impacted the mental health of caregivers nationwide. But with a little planning and a whole lot of self-forgiveness, you can make the task at hand a touch more bearable.