If there’s anything being in a relationship teaches you, it’s that humor is the key to making love last. It imparts a lightness that cuts through the clutter of child rearing, cohabitation, and work-a-day drudgery. It provides a moment of needed relief in tough situations. And overall, everyone knows that laughter is simply the best medicine!
Give your special someone the gift of a smile with these funny Valentine’s Day quotes sure to trigger a giggle. You don’t have to be a famous comedian like Russell Brand or Jerry Seinfeld to make your sweetie laugh this Valentine’s Day (although their quotes are represented on our list). You just have to pick your favorite sayings from our collection of more than 40 quotes and share them in a homemade Valentine's Day card, social media tribute, email, text message — or best of all, share it face-to-face on date night.
"Without Valentine's Day, February would be, well, January."
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Melanie White
"Remember, your Valentine's card shows you care enough to send the very best, even though you're too lazy to put it in your own words."
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Charles M. Schulz
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
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Pam and Dwight, 'The Office'
Pam: "Sometimes the gift is really about the gesture ... what it means, instead of what it is."
Dwight: "You mean... like a ham?"
Pam: "No. Not like a ham."
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Tom Robbins
"The only bubble in the flat champagne of February is Valentine's Day."
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Pearl Bailey
"What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork."
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Lily Tomlin
"If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?"
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Unknown
"If you're alone during Valentine's day, it is priceless for you. Otherwise, you would spend a few hundred [dollars]."
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George Burns
"Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on x-rays, but you know it’s there."
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David Letterman
"Valentine's Day Money-Saving Tips: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th."
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Will Ferrell
"Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are."
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Tom Robbins
"He or she lucky enough to have a lover in frigid, antsy February has cause for celebration, indeed."
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Sophie Monroe
"The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works 24/7, 365 from birth until you fall in love."
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Trevor Noah
"I [understand] Valentine's Day, as a concept. The naked baby shoots you with an arrow and you fall in love."
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Jay Leno
"Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day."
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Zsa Zsa Gabor
"I want a man who’s kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?"
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Anonymous
"I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon."
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Rita Rudner
"I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
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Tracy Smith
"I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours, I watched whatever I wanted on TV."
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Jay Leno
"I feel bad for people who die on Valentine's Day. How much would flowers cost then, 10 grand?"
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Mike Primavera
"You are never alone on Valentine's Day if you're near a lake and have bread."
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Albert Einstein
"Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed."
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Jean Illsley Clarke
"I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?"
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Pauline Thomason
"Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener."
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Richard Jeni
"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in."
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Lew Schneider
"It's fun to complain with someone. Nothing brings us together more than complaining about other people. That might be the thing that holds us together more than anything."
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Russell Brand
"I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough."
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Erma Bombeck
"Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery."
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Oprah Winfrey
"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down."
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Fran Lebowitz
“Romantic love is a mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one."
Martha SorrenMartha Sorren is a freelance writer for Bustle, Refinery29, Woman's Day, and INSIDER.
Alesandra DubinContributing WriterAlesandra is a digital travel and lifestyle journalist based in Los Angeles whose work has appeared in Good Housekeeping, Woman’s Day, Prevention, Insider, Glamour, Shondaland, AFAR, Parents, TODAY and countless other online and print outlets.
